


The Last Laugh

by AspenCe



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders-centric, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, Mistakes, Misunderstandings, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27980118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenCe/pseuds/AspenCe
Summary: A song-fic based on Thomas' "Friends On the Other Side" mashup.Remus has decided that the last twenty years of his life have been a joke, because that's the only reasonable explanation for why everyone left him. This is his revenge.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am aware that I am far too addicted to Remus angst. No, that will not stop me. <3

Remus remembers being Creativity. He remembers the split. It was in the hallway, Morality was yelling, Logic was trying to calm him down, and in the corner of his vision, in the shadows, he knows he saw the glint of a yellow eye and golden-green scales. It was all so loud, and Morality’s words were like painful stabs to his head and heart, cutting him down and down and out of Roman. It only took four minutes for them to break, four minutes for him to be severed from himself, disoriented and upset. 

He knows, just like he knew then, that from the way Roman hadn’t moved and he’d fallen to the floor, that he’s the castaway. The reject. The unloved brother… the side of the King that no one wanted. He remembers that his clothes were the exact opposite of Roman’s - not white and red, but green and black, and his skin was - and still is - ashy gray, while his brother’s was, and still is, tanned and healthy. 

And then he remembers the looks of horror on Morality and Logic’s faces, the gasp from the shadows, and the way he was immediately ganged up on. 

“See!?” Morality had screamed. _“This_ is what was hurting King! It’s a _monster,_ if I hadn’t done it then _it would still be inside of him!”_

Roman’s face had twisted into a horrified scowl, and his hand had yanked his sword from his sheath. Logic had stepped back, shocked and utterly horrified. And from the shadows came the scaly-side, wearing a dark black cape and a black hat, stepping in front of him protectively. He’d looked at him, and his eyes told him that he was safe now.

_You’re in my world now, not your world._

Lies had picked him up effortlessly and sank back into the shadows, seemingly vanishing from the others’ sight. He’d carried him down the hall and through a door, into a living room that was a dark mirror of the one Remus had seen every day for seven years. 

_And I’ve got friends on the other side._

Remus remembers meeting the side called Paranoia, sitting on the arm of the couch, eyeshadow under his eyes and a hood over his hair. 

“What’s his deal?” Para had asked Lies, jabbing a thumb in Remus’ direction. Lies had opened his mouth to respond, but Remus interrupted with his own, overly-enthusiastic description of himself. ~~_It was a mask to cover up the hurt._~~

_“I find delight in the gruesome and grim!”_

They’d grinned, and Lies had led him to the table by the kitchen, leaving him there while he started cooking. He explained what he thought had happened while he moved around the kitchen, but Remus was only half-listening. _Sit down at my table, put your mind at ease~_

 _What a fucking joke,_ Remus laughs, crazed, with tear tracks staining his cheeks with eyeshadow. It was all lies. He knows that now. A joke. **(I’ll put a spell on you.)** Make him feel welcome, like he had somewhere he could be himself, and then rip it all away little by little! It was truly _hilarious_ that he’d fallen for it.

 _If you relax it will enable me to_ **(and now you’re mine)** _do anything I please._

They’d toyed with him for twenty years. _Twenty FUCKING years._ He can’t stop laughing - _that’s some fucking COMMITMENT right there, bitches!_

_I can read your future._

They’d told him that they’d always have each other. It was going to be Dee, Vee, Cee, and Ree, always and forever. “Promise - we dark sides, we stick together, no matter what.” **(Be prepared.)** But as Dee-Dee always says - _said, said, he’s gone -_ “We’re Dark Sides. We don’t play by the rules.” _I can change it ‘round some too._

 **(Trust in me!)** And they expected him to _trust them!?_ What’s worse is that they succeeded - he hadn’t seen through their lies for _TWENTY FUCKING YEARS._

 _I’ll look deep into your_ **(poor unfortunate soul!)** _heart and soul_ **(so sad)** \- they’re laughing, they’re _fucking laughing_ while he’s _alone,_ abandoned, left behind _again. - and make your wildest dreams_ **(so true)** ~~_come true._~~

_I got voodoo, I got hoodoo, I got things I ain't even tried!_

Remus grins, a bloody grin, his teeth sharp and glittering. It’s fucking funny. He’s impressed! They kept up the act, played the joke, for _TWENTY FUCKING YEARS!_ He should probably congratulate them for their commitment, how fucking successful their prank was, but he knows that being listened to was all part of the joke, so he really can’t talk to them without being thrown out.

 _And I’ve got friends on the other side._

They’re all on the Light Side now! He’s all alone, just the way he’s supposed to be, _was always supposed to be._ He doesn’t really know why they toyed with him for so long, why they kept up the act, why they even bothered - he knows _he_ doesn’t have that level of patience. He can’t wait _twenty fucking years_ for the punchline. But well, he’s always been an impatient person. He never understands how everyone else can stand things moving so slow. 

Remus feels like he’s on top of the fucking _world._ He feels untouchable, invincible, energy and dark buzzing knots of things he can’t decipher filling him up from the inside and out. He can’t fucking stop laughing, and it shows - the corners of his mouth are split, bloody, and his eyes are still leaking tears of laughter, and he can’t fucking stop shaking with it. 

They’ve pulled their prank. They’ve told their joke. They’ve had their turn, and it took _twenty fucking years,_ but now it’s over and guess what? **_It’s Remus’ turn now._ **

_And if you aren’t shaken, there’s something very wrong, ‘cause this may be the last time you hear the boogie song!_

Remus is still laughing _he can’t breathe_ as he undresses, changing into an outfit much more fit for a Duke - a heavy, dark green satin cape with black fur lining clipped to the shoulders of a smoothed out Dukie outfit, a heavier, green sash rather than his lime mesh one, and solid boots with dark steel toes. He whips around and flashes out his hands at his reflection in his full-length mirror, screeching “BOO!” through his laughter. _I’m the oogie-boogie man!_

He doubles over in another wave of uncontrollable laughter, barely managing to stumble across the room to pick up his morningstar from where it’s leaning against his nightstand. He examines it in his hands, grinning and laughing, then swings it up to rest on his shoulder. _Beware, take care, he rides alone!_ He spins around and fights off another bout of laughter, still gasping for breath, snorting, and giggling; as he walks unsteadily to his heavy iron door and slams into it, making it open with a loud _BANG_ and making plaster flake off from the stained walls.

 _This vampire bat, this inhuman beast, he oughtta be locked up, and never released!_ Remus starts laughing harder again, and his sides are aching from how much it hurts, but he _just can’t stop!_ He passes the too empty living room that he’s already destroyed, passes the kitchen where he can almost see Vee sitting on the counter while Dee makes roasted meat and he’s being distracted, sitting on the floor with the bowl that he can make _anything he wants to_ in. He passes the empty spots on the walls where there used to be three doors, one orange, one yellow, and one purple, and once - for almost a full year before Dee _fucking_ left - a dark blue. 

_He swears to the longest day he’s dead -_

_They’ll be so surprised, won’t they?_ Remus laughs as he stumbles, slamming into the wall next to the door that leads to the other side. 

_He’ll show them that he can get a-head!_

They’ve had their turn. They’ve messed with him for _TWENTY FUCKING YEARS_ and it’s so fucking hilarious, they’re all _incredible_ actors to keep it up for so _FUCKING_ long! _The world was such a wholesome place until~_ Well everyone knows that when you pull a prank, **_you get fucking pranked back._** \- _he had a plan to shake things up, and that’s the gospel truth._

Oh, they’ll _never_ see it _FUCKING_ coming. Remus can’t fucking stop laughing and it hurts and he can’t breathe, but he can still swing his morningstar full strength at the door in front of him, making it explode into splinters and come crashing to the floor. 

_Are you ready?_

Remus gasps painfully for air, and giggles breathlessly as he stumbles a few more steps and drags his morningstar back up to his shoulder. **(Hellfire!)** His sides are on _fucking fire_ it hurts so bad, but he can’t fucking stop, and he laughs and cries and laughs and _laughs and fucking LAUGHS._

_Are you ready?_

He’s on shaking legs, walking down the hall, swaying and stumbling and laughing like a crazed drunkard. **(Hellfire!)** He reaches the stairs and he climbs over the railing, dropping to the floor with a thud and a _crack._ _Are you ready? _ He realizes that it’s his knees as he slams on the ground, they hurt, but he’s been hurt before and he doesn’t care. **(This fire in my skin!)**

He stands up, tripping over himself and smacking into the wall, and he falls into yet another fit of painful, burning laughter.

**(Transformation central!)**

The Light Sides are all having a meal, sitting at the table, but they’re in various states of panic; Virgil’s curled up in his hoodie, Patton’s clutching Logan, Dee’s standing over his knocked-down chair, Crixy is in front of them all with his hands balled into fists, and Roman’s sword is in Remus’ brother’s hands. 

“Remus?” Dee asks quietly, fear coating his voice. He’s taking a hesitant step forward, hand outstretched, but Remus staggers back, gasping for breath again.

 _“Yes it is he, but not as you know him!”_ Remus screams, then dissolves into more _FUCKING_ laughter. **(Reformation central!)** _“Read my lips,”_ **(Transmogrification central.)** _“And come to grips with reality~”_ **(Can you feel it?)** _You’re changing, you’re changing, you’re changing alright~!_

“What happened?” Crixy asks, shaking in rage. He wants to fight something, someone, it’s funny though because the _JOKE’S ALREADY FUCKING OVER,_ he doesn’t have to keep pretending to care about him. 

Remus shakes his head, laughing painfully, crying, tripping over himself as he falls into a tight ball in the corner of the room, wet eyes sealed shut. His morningstar slips out of his grip in the process, and he can hear everyone scrambling to get to him.

He doesn’t care. He knows that they’re just clambering over one another, fighting for the chance to be the one who finally slays the monster. The hero who rids the mindscape of the unloved brother, the half of King that no one wants.

He remembers a time when he was okay.

 _Far from the ones who abandoned you, chasing… the love of these humans…_ He remembers a closed door, separating the Duke from the world, separating Remus from the FamILY. **(Love is an open door~)** It will never be opened for him, never willingly. 

_…_ _who made you feel wanted…_

They’d taken everything from him.

 **(‘cause they guzzle up the things you prize…)**

_“I hope you’re satisfied.”_ He forces his eyes open, pulls himself unsteadily to his feet. They’re all so close, reaching out, hesitating - they don’t know what to do. He blinks slowly, once, and brings up a heavily shaking hand to wipe the itchy wetness off his face. His face twists into a glare.

 _“But if you ain't… don’t blame me.”_

He pulls a knife, slick with blood, from his sleeve, and stumbles back until he’s against the wall. The others step back, afraid, afraid of not knowing what he’s going to do.

 _Don’t forget it, don’t forget it, don’t forget it, you’ll regret it!_

He takes one last look at the Light Side. _This land we behold…_ The white popcorn ceiling. The beige carpet. The walls painted cream, the table covered in dishes and food. _This beauty untold…_ It’s so _warm_ up here. It’s freezing down in the Dark Side, utterly freezing, but now it almost feels like he’s burning alive. Maybe that’s not the Light Side, maybe it’s him. _I wonder why…_

 _A man can be bold…_ Remus adjusts the knife in his grip. He ignores Logan and Dee trying to get him to put it down. _It all can be sold!_ He looks down, away from their faces, and plunges it straight into his heart.

It’s so loud. They’re screaming, rushing forward, it feels like they’re ganging up on him. Every word cuts, cuts, cuts, stabs him straight through in his head and his heart. Maybe that’s him. He’s bleeding. He’s trying to keep the knife inside of him, curling up defensively, trying to keep them away from him.

_“As a specimen yes, I’m intimidating~”_

He can’t stop fucking _laughing._

_And you can blame my friends on the other side._

**(You got what you wanted!)**

“REMUS, NO, YOU CAN’T FUCKING DIE ON ME - ”

“Stabilize the knife! Virgil, get the medical kit!”

“STOP IT STOP IT WHY WOULD YOU **DO THIS!?”**

“Rem, I’m sorry, I’m sorry - please don’t die, please, you can’t die - ”

 **(But you lost what you had!)**

Isn’t it funny? They played a joke on him for twenty years, and now when he’s finally getting his revenge, they want to go right back to pretending that they actually care.

Remus huffs a laugh, and doesn’t breathe in again.

_Shhh…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on Thomas' "I Won't Say I'm In Love" mash-up - Remus wakes up.

Reality comes to him in fragments. 

First comes the pain. It feels like he’s been shattered into a million pieces and he’s slowly stitching himself back together, stitch, by stitch, by stitch… skin knitting to muscles with veins and arteries as the thread, bones as the framework. It burns like being struck by lightning continuously, flaring up with every stitch, and yet it’s freezing, like dry ice - so cold that it burns.

He can’t form a coherent thought, his brain flashing with  _ PAIN PAIN PAIN  _ and  _ HELP, PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP IT HURTS -  _

Then comes the light, cutting right through his eyes and to his skull, making him cringe away from it and bring up his bloody hands to block it. It doesn’t help - his arms are too weak, he only lifts them a few centimeters before they fall back down and he gasps from the effort. His head hurts, everything hurts.

Touch. It comes as rough, cross-woven threads, making a ridiculously light fabric that fits around him as though it’s meant for him. Despite how soft and light it is, it’s too heavy, and every breath that makes it rub against his hypersensitive skin burns like an army of angry fire ants and bleach on bare skin. It comes as cold, stuffy air that freezes his nose and fingers. It comes as the heavy, solid wall that he’s propped against, and it comes as the hardwood floor he’s sitting on, pressure on his back and shins and cheek. 

Next are the sounds.

A clock ticking.

_ Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock… Tick…  _

The humming of a fridge.

_ Hmmmm… Hmmmm…  _

Breathing. Multiple sets of breathing; calm, deep. Asleep.

_ Huhhhhh… Hhhhhhhh… Huhhhh… Hhhhhhh…  _

He opens his eyes as the last piece of reality falls into place - himself.

He laughs quietly, tears slipping down his cheeks and smile growing. He tilts his head back to rest on the wall behind him.

_ If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that. _

Remus didn’t want to come back. When he sheathed that knife in his heart… he didn’t want to come back. And yet… here he is. Alive. Breathing. Eyes looking up at the popcorn ceiling as the sounds of six sets of breathing fill the air. White noise, from the living room, ignorable. He wishes he were alone.

_ All those days, chasing down a daydream…  _ He sighs deeply and pulls himself to his feet, memories flooding his mind. Watching shitty horror movies with Vee, making it better with their commentary. Fighting with Cee, exchanging blows, clanging metal, then grinning once they’re too tired to continue. Talking to Logan, asking questions that he answers without even a hint of disgust or disdain.

Plotting with Dee. Pranks. Schemes. Villainous plans. Playing them out and then cuddling afterwards, safe and warm and giggling at their games.

His brows drop, frown. His eyes harden. His jaw clenches.

_ That’s ancient history, been there, done that! _

He doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t fucking care anymore. He’s done - he’s  _ been  _ done - and he’s tried to leave but it didn’t work, so now there’s nothing to do except try again and again and again until it does.

**(Who d’you think you’re kidding?)**

Remus catches sight of them, of  _ Dee.  _ Frowning a little in his sleep, curled up a little, scales reflecting the dim light. He’s still wearing his capelet, but his bowler hat must’ve fallen off, because Remus can see his curly, fluffy blonde hair.

_ He’s the earth and heaven to you. _

His bottom lip trembles and a tear drops to the floor. Dee is everything, was everything, still is everything to him. **(Try to keep it hidden.)** _Only we can see right through you._ **(Boy you can’t conceal it!)**

He forced himself to take a step, then another, and another, until he was past him, but he stops six steps away. His eyes close tightly, and his fingers find themselves tugging on his hair, digging into his scalp.

_ We know how you’re feeling, who you’re thinking of! _

_ No, I don’t - I can’t! He doesn’t want me! He hates me, it was all just a FUCKING j-Oke…  _

**(Let it go.)**

He shakes his head and swallows hard. _“No chance-”_ **(Let it go.)** _“No way, I won’t say it, no no.”_ **(Can’t hold it back anymore.)** He turns back around, looking at Dee again. He wants to cry some more. He wants cuddles and hugs and reassurances and fucking _touch._

**(You swoon, you sigh, why deny it?)**

Remus doesn’t fucking care anymore. He crawls to Dee, curls up next to him, burrows into him and wraps his arms around the snake. He sniffles loudly.  _ It’s too cliche. I won’t say I’m in love. _ He’ll be fine without Dee. He can just… leave. He doesn’t care anymore.

But…  _ I thought my heart had learned its lesson, it feels so good when you start out. _

He knows what will happen.  **(You’ll be there someday.)** He knows that Dee will wake up, his nose will wrinkle in disgust, and then everyone will tell him to leave. He’ll be alone again.  _ My head is screaming, get a grip, boy! Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out.  _ He’s disgusted with  _ himself.  _ He really is stupid. Clingy. Gross.

_ You keep on denying, who you are is how you’re feeling. _

But right now, he just closes his eyes and tries to forget everything that happened. Tries to pretend that they’re still playing the game, making the joke. Tries to pretend that when he wakes up, Dee will look at him with that worried look and ask him what’s wrong, and then they’ll cuddle through noon.

He should probably get up and leave while he still can. Try overdosing. Drowning. Hanging himself, pulling a bullet through his brain. 

**(I’ll make a man out of you.)**

He should’ve gotten up. Left. Never fallen for the trick in the first place.

_ Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling. _

Dee’s really warm. He likes that.

**(Oh, no.)**

_ Face it like a grown-up! _ Remus should leave. He should leave. He should leave. He shouldn’t be here, he can’t be here, they don’t want him here.  _ When you gonna own up that you got, got, got it bad? _

Fine. He’s not leaving. He doesn’t even care if Dee doesn’t want him there, or if everyone else wants him to leave, because he wants Dee and he doesn’t care what they think. He’s going to stick to Dee like a burr, and he’s not going to let go unless Dee kills him.  **(Wishing.)** He can’t help but wish that Dee won’t, though.

He smiles weakly into Dee’s shirt. _No chance._ **(I’m wishing.)** _No way, I won’t say it, no no!_

There’s this weird feeling inside of him. It’s like a wet rubber ball, rubbing his ribs in a way that makes him cringe. It’s heavy and warm and slick and gross. **(So this is love?)** He should back out before it’s too late… **(Give up, give in!)** _Check the grin, you’re in love._

Dee’s eyes blink open, and he moves away, grunting in confusion and grogginess. Remus freezes and scrambles away, hugging his arms to his chest as his face twists in internal agony. He screams at himself, but on the outside he’s just breathing heavily.

_This scene won’t play, I won’t say I’m in love!_ He can’t do it, he can’t, Dee doesn’t want him there and he can’t handle that - **(You’re doing flips, read our lips, you’re in love.)** _You’re way off base, I won’t say it!_

“Re-mus?” Dee asks, breathless, voice breaking and eyes shining. 

**(Almost there.)**

He grimaces.  _ Get off my case, I won’t say it!  _ “It’s… it’s oka-y, I-I was just leaving.”

_ Boy don’t be proud.  _

“NO!” Dee screams, and launches forward, and suddenly Remus is being pinned to the ground by a tearful snake’s six arms. His eyes fly wide in terror.  _ It’s okay, but if I know you I know what you’ll do -  _ Dee’s going to kill him, oh fuck, fuck, Dee’s going to kill him and he thought he was ready but he’s not, fuck, he’s not ready - 

“P-please don’t l-leave…” Dee sounds so broken and upset that for a moment **(You’ll love me at once.)** he believes that he actually cares. _There may be something there that wasn’t there before._

Remus chokes on a sob.

Then everyone is awake. Everyone is talking over each other. Crixy’s hyperventilating, Vee’s shouting, Ro’s speechless, Patty’s running over, Lo’s next to him and looking him over - Dee’s sobbing.

Dee’s crying.

“It’s okay,” Remus chokes out. “You don’t… don’t have to keep pretending. The joke’s… the joke’s over.”

“What joke?” 

He doesn’t know who says it, but their voice is so small and scared that he can’t put it to a face anyway. He finds hope welling up inside of him, wondering if this is real, if they actually care.  _ Wish that I had… _

“You… you don’t want me,” he said, but there’s an unspoken  _ right?  _ that they all know is there, hanging in the air.

Dee breaks. “No, no, Remus I want you so  _ fucking bad -  _ I’m sorry. God, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Remus looks around, but no one contradicts him, and though part of him feels sick at the thought that they’re just doing an encore performance of their joke so that they can rip away from him one at a time  _ again,  _ he finds his own trusting self betraying him. He smiles hesitantly, shakily, eyes widening with the sheer size of the mountains of hope building up inside of him.

**(A whole new world!)**

“Really? R- fuck - really?”

“Yes,” Logan says. Logan doesn’t lie. Logan doesn’t like jokes. Logan wouldn’t play this game unless it - unless -

_ I know every mile - _

“Remus… I don’t… I don’t want you to die,” Roman says. Roman. Roman’s his brother, his twin, his other half. He… he wants him? He’s never played the game before… maybe… 

**(With new horizons to pursue!)**

“You’re fucking staying here until we make it better,” Crixus growls, eyes flashing orange. Crixus is mad… for him?

_-_ _will be worth my while, I will go most anywhere -_

“...okay,” he breathes and lets out a shuddering breath. He closes his eyes. When he opens them again he’s grinning, eyes shining. **(I’ll chase them anywhere, there’s time to spare)** \- _to feel -_ **(let me share this)** _\- like I -_ **(new world.)**

_ Maybe love is the reason why.  _

It’s not a joke. It’s not a game. It’s not a prank.  _ They want me. _

_If I go there’s just no telling how far…_ **(for the first time ever we’re seeing it eye to eye)** _I’ll go!_

But if anyone asks him -

_At least out loud… I won’t say I’m in…_ **(My, oh my…)** _love._

They’re the sappy, sentimental idiots. He’s just the gullible crackpot hellhound. ( _ Their  _ gullible crackpot hellhound.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd I do?

**Author's Note:**

> I may do a part two, maybe not, I've got some other things I have to work on as well...


End file.
